MENTAL SILENCE

Six months ago things reached fever pitch in my life. I was not coping very well with the demands of caring for a toddler and a baby and was constantly finding myself in a state of anxiety, stress or anger. My moods were affecting my partner and my children and the general mood in the camp was one of depression and frustration. I decided to get a book on meditation. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Luckily I found meditation very easy even though on previous attempts, say during the relaxation at the end of a rare yoga session, I found it very hard to control my thoughts at all. I think it was because back then I didn’t want to slow down. Lying down at a yoga session just meant that I could plan the rest of the day and not waste any time. I hate wasting time.

What I have discovered is that far from wasting time, meditation created something that was far more valuable. It actually created more time and space in my life. It was as if time had slowed down precisely because my thoughts had slowed down. I now see that there is a direct relationship between the nature of our thoughts and our experience of life. Non stop thinking creates a fast moving day but also left me prone to anxiety and other unsettling feelings.

I decided to prioritise some time every day to cultivate this more relaxed state of mind. The only time I was able to do this was in the bath with the door firmly shut and strict instructions for Gareth to keep the girls downstairs at all costs. It only gives me 10-20 mins. each day but it has been enough to make a huge difference in the quality of all of our lives. The biggest change I have noticed is that instead of spending the day in my head ruminating or worrying about how I’m going to get the dinner done whilst breastfeeding Anona I actually spend the day with my girls.

When you take the time to stop and think it’s amazing how little time we spend in the present moment.

When our minds become still and thoughts slow down we come as close to peace as we possibly can. In this state of mind it is likely that we will take a more positive view of ourselves, our relationships and of the general goings on of reality. It is in this calm state of awareness that we can best relate to our children and develop conscious parenting skills.